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Sunday, March 23, 2014

Happy 5-year Anniversary


To you,

You came into my life in 2009, showed me enormous amounts of love and LOOK where we are today! Today is our 5 year anniversary. Can you believe it? I can’t help but smile knowing we’ve been in relationship that long!

What a journey it’s been!

It is no secret we’ve had our tough times. Last year was particularly hard for us, but with God’s grace, we are better than we’ve ever been. He helped us overcome some tough stuff, and the outcome? Now I feel closer to you, I feel more comfortable with you, and I am so much happier. There were days I wasn’t sure about continuing on, but now I see us together for the rest of our lives, and I have confidence we will work through any issues that could come along and try to stop us.

I know that is a rough start to a love letter, but I think it is such a testament to our love for each other. I am so thankful for what we went through, it was painful, but we are stronger than ever.

I hope to continue to grow in our relationship until our last days. I pray that I can be the best wife to you later on; loving, supportive and encouraging. I want to respect your authority and honor your role as a provider and protector in my life. I will continue to work on some of my weaknesses, like negativity, doubting and forgiveness.

I just want to say, I am glad you’ve been ‘calling me out’ for some of these things lately. You are helping me express my feelings in a better way. I appreciate that you can tell me when I am being ridiculous, or exaggerating an issue too far. I hope that I can take your comments lightly and get over things easier! I will try to forgive and forget faster, I know how bad I can be at that! I am challenging sometimes, and I want to thank you for dealing with my emotional breakdowns and for making me a better person along the way.  Thanks for loving me when I am difficult- through thick and thin.

Despite some fights and individual stubbornness, I’d say we’ve had a pretty amazing five years. We’ve made big and small decisions as a team, we’ve made new friends and shared lots of good times with those new and old.

But most importantly, we’ve learned to love each other unconditionally.

And you make it easy to love you.

There are so many reasons why I love you and if I had known the day I met you, the joys that were to come, I may have not believed them. You are more than I could ever tell you and I will never be able to thank you for making my life so unbelievable.

Happy five year anniversary, my love nta.

I love you!

Thursday, March 13, 2014

An Open Letter To Him: How A Best Friend Becomes A Stranger

Whoaaa. Suddenly I have a slightest memory about a boy, who just dissapeared in my life. I do not even know what I should call him, an ex? I think a 'best friend' is the most suitable one.
Well, actually, there is nothing worse than choosing to let go and move on when you know that your best friend will never be more than just that, a best friend. It's a very difficult phenomenon to describe, which is why most go with the all-time favorite cliché: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
The truth is, that is the best way to describe it: You love someone deeply and feel that you ought to be part of each others' lives, but not in the capacity that you have been thus far. Unfortunately, not everyone can break up and stay friends. In fact, I'd say most couldn't. That is why we lose our best friends. We lose the people who are most important to us and, let's be honest, end up lost for a good moment afterwards ourselves.
With time, however, we learn to pick up the pieces and redefine our direction in life. Yet, not all of us completely move on. Some of us still hold on to that friendship even though it is long gone. Why? Because we do love them. We wish they could be part of our lives. But at the same time we understand that is impossible.. :')


Hey there, stranger.
It's been a very long time, which I'm sure you're aware of. I'd like to say that it was your decision alone to keep this distance, but I think we both know it was for the best. I'd like to say that I'm glad you are well, but as we both know I have absolutely no idea how you are. The one thing that can definitely be said is that when we cut the ties, we leave no strand behind, but slice right through until we no longer remember how to find each other. It's amazing to think that once we were inseparable, the best of friends.

You knew me inside and out, and I, you. We were there for each other in the best of times and through the most difficult of times. We definitely managed to put each other through hell on occasion, but when support was needed the most, support was given. Until, of course, that final day. I sometimes find myself wondering why we couldn’t stay in touch. Would it be so bad if we got together for coffee from time to time? Or if we gave each other a ring to see how the other was doing?

Using the phone to make calls has become archaic, but surely we could send a text to wish each other a happy birthday? Or a happy New Year? I mean, we've been through so much. You are a part of my life and there is nothing I can do to ever change that.

You can’t be forgotten because forgetting you would be like forgetting myself, so impossible. But then again, maybe you are right. Maybe we are better off as far apart as possible. We know we aren't right for each other. We know it would never work, and we know the friendship we have-we had-created a bond that would make slipping back into romance too easy. It would make repeating the same mistakes too likely, repeating the same heartbreak certain. That's what it really comes down to: It's not my heart that I’m worried about, but yours. Breaking my own heart would be my responsibility to bear, but I can't once again be responsible for breaking yours..

So all that I can do is wish you the best. Wish you a great, bright, loving future. Wish you to find the lover of your dreams and to create a lifetime of your fantasies. I wish for you to find a friend as great as me, but a much better partner. One who won't drag you through the mud. One who you won't feel the need to bury with guilt. I wish you all the best and although you will never read this, although we will never speak to each other again even on the phone, and although you are out of my life forever, I wish you nothing but short of happiness.
:')




Never again to be yours,

Your Lost Best Friend

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Dia(m)

Di kebanyakan dini hari semacam ini, entah hikmah atau apa, yang pasti selalu ada satu rasa yang terkadang mirip,
mmm, . .

Orang itu adalah dia(m) dan dia(m) adalah orang itu, bukan orang lain. Ketika saya merasa tak begitu yakin melihat dia(m) masih tetap dia(m), berarti dia(m) bukan dia(m). Tapi ketika ada sesuatu, yang entah apa namanya, membuat saya yakin kalau dia(m) itu dia(m), berarti dia(m) adalah dia(m). Saya yakin, hari ini dia(m) memang dia(m). Bahkan kalau boleh saya bilang, mmm... dia(m) semakin "dia(m)".

Ah sudahlah,
biarkan saya berucap terakhir kalinya.
Malam ini saya merindukan dia(m) sang Ilalang ...

Selamat menjelang pagi, Ilalang  ...
Bawalah ku terbang. Berlalu bersama liarmu.
Rindukan aku


Monday, February 3, 2014

Wejangan Bapak dan Mama

Beberapa waktu belakangan ini Bapak sama Mama santer bener ngingetin saya dengan buanyak hal, ya bisa dibilang sebagai wejangan untuk menjadi calon wanita, pendamping imam dan Ibu bagi anaknya nanti kali ya. Haha

PERAN ISTRI 
Bapak : Jadi perempuan itu tidak boleh keras, tidak boleh menguasai suami dan rumah tangga, harus tau mana batasan-batasan seorang istri. Nanti kalau berumah tangga, suami yang harus dihormati pertama, baru kedua orang tua, dan nanti jangan pernah merasa sirik jika suami memberi perhatian lebih sama ibunya karena surganya anak ada di telapak kaki ibu dan surganya istri ada pada suami.
Mama  :  Semoga nanti memdapatkan suami yang sayang dengan seluruh keluarganya, terutama Ibunya sendiri, Ibu mertuanya, dan Istrinya.

Bapak : Istri itu tidak bekerja juga tidak apa-apa, karena pekerjaan utama istri itu mengurus suami dan mendidik anak-anak, kelak kamu akan tau bahwa menjadi ibu rumah tangga itu tantangannya lebih besar daripada menjadi wanita karir, dan lebih mulia dari pada wanita karir yang bekerja keluar rumah.
Mama  : Iya, tapi mama pinginnya kamu kerja nantinya. Tapi ingat, harus tau kewajiban istri dirumah. Pegang itu semua komitmen yang sudah disepakati bersama.

Bapak  : Jadi seorang istri itu harus menghargai suami, berapapun uang yang bisa ia hasilkan maka hargailah. Walapun misalnya gaji istri lebih besar dari gaji suami maka hargailah apa yang dihasilkan suami. Setinggi apapun pangkat dan jabatan seorang perempuan diluar sana, saat ia masuk ke rumah tangga, maka ia dibawah suaminya dan tetap harus tunduk dan patuh pada suaminya.


TULANG RUSUK
Bapak  : Yanti tau tulang rusuk? Gusti Allah menciptakan Hawa dari tulang rusuk Adam, sehingga ada yang berkurang dari tubuh Adam, tapi bukan berarti laki-laki dijaman sekarang tidak punya tulang rusuk seperti Adam.
Saya    : He'emm
Bapak : Sekarang Bapak tanya, kenapa harus tulang rusuk?
Saya    : Ga tau Pak...
Bapak : Tulang rusuk itu letaknya ada dibawah ketiak, artinya perempuan itu harus ditangkep, dilindungi, dan diawasi. tulang rusuk itu posisinya, tidak melebihi pundak, artinya pangkat tertinggi itu suami dan perempuan itu dibawahnya. Tulang rusuk juga jauh letaknya dengan kepala, yang secara harfiah maksudnya perempuan itu bukan pemimpin tapi yang dipimpin. Tulang rusuk itu bentuknya bengkok/melengkung, karena pada dasarnya perempuan itu harus diluruskan sedikit demi sedikit, oleh siapa? Ya suaminya. Tapi meluruskan perempuan itu harus sabar agar perempuan itu tidak menjadi keras, ibarat tulang rusuk kalau dikencangkan/diluruskan akan patah, itulah perempuan.

Mama : Kamu liat gosipnya Ayu tingting? Sebelum nikah kaya gimana setelah nikah kaya gimana, padahal si Ayu sedang hamil. Jangan sampe anak Mama ada yang kaya gitu.
Bapak  : Nah nanti Yanti kalau udah nikah harus bisa mempertahankan keutuhan rumah tanggamu. Ingat Yan, perceraian itu memang halal tapi dibenci Allah. Kenapa bisa dibenci Allah? Karena ada sumpah yang telah dilanggar. Sumpah apa? Sumpah saat nikah, ijab qabul, dan kalau Yanti tau saat nikah ada dua kalimat syahadat yang diucap. Sumpah kepada allah telah dilanggar, sumpah dan janji bahwa akan membina rumah tangga sakinah mawaddah warrahmah telah dilanggar. Makanya Allah sangat membenci perceraian. Hindari itu ! Hidari hal-hal yang akan merusak rumah tangga Yanti nantinya.
Saya  : (ngangguk-ngangguk)


ISLAM
Bapak : Yanti tau emansipasi wanita?
Saya    : Iya tau Pak
Bapak : Apa coba?
Saya    : kesetaraan hak perempuan dengan laki-laki?
Bapak : Iya betul, tapi banyak perempuan yang menyalahgunakan emansipasi itu. Mulanya kan Kartini itu ingin mengembalikan hak-hak perempuan yang dulu dirampas, mulai dari perempuan tidak boleh sekolah, dan diperjual belikan. Tapi kenapa kesininya perempuan menuntut hak lain. Kalau kamu liat banyak perempuan yang mencalonkan diri menjadi pemimipin. Kalau kamu Islam maka kamu seharusnya mengerti bahwa di Islam tidak ada pemimpin perempuan, emang ada Nabi perempuan?
Saya   : Ga ada
Bapak : Nah kan, karena memang kodratnya perempuan itu tidak bekerja apalagi menjadi pemimpin. Sudah dari jaman dahulu perempuan itu tidak ada yang menjadi pemimpin. Makanya Hawa dibuat dari tuang rusuk bukan dari ubun-ubun. Memang sekarang jamannya sudah berubah, tapi jika kita mengaku Islam maka kita harus mengerti batasan-batasan wanita. Sekarang pertanyaan Bapak, untuk apa diciptakan Nabi terakhir, Muhammad saw?
Saya    : Untuk menuntun manusia ke jalan benar.
Bapak : Lebih tepatnya untuk memperbaiki akhlak. Makanya kenapa ada "sunah rasul"? Agar kita mengikuti akhlak Nabi Muhammad saw. Sekarang Bapak cuma mau ingetin, kalau kamu mengaku Islam, dijaga rukun Islam dan Imannya. Karena nanti diakhirat Bapak ga bisa nolong, hanya kamu yang bisa nolong diri kamu sendiri. Apa yang kamu lakukan didunia adalah bekal untuk kehidupan di akhirat kelak, kehidupan yang abadi. Jadi Bapak sama Mama cuma bisa ngasi tau, ngingetin, yang shalehah, yang selamat dunia akhirat, yang bisa jaga diri, yang bisa mendapatkan imam yang saleh, ya mba yanti.

Saya sayang sekali sama Beliau tersebut diatas. Walaupun terkadang ada aja rasa jelek yang melintas rasa, tetapi balik lagi, Beliau adalah orang tua saya yang menjadikan saya bisa ada di dunia ini. Segala doa, segala pesan, semoga saya benar bisa menjadi anak yang berbakti dan wanita yang sholehah di akhir waktu nanti. Amiin Ya Robbalaalamiin :)
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