You Again!

Well, the only thing we always miss when we have already been in a long relationship is all the thing that our lovers used to do in the very first they fell in with us. They did everything every girl wants. They treated their girls nicely like they didn't want to be far away with her though it was only a sec!  When the girl was mad at him, he always tried to find a way to get her attention and her smile again. Doing such a stupid thing isn't all that bad if he can make his girl not mad at him anymore. Sorry seemed the easy thing to say, because he didn't want to be in that scary condition with his girl. He just didn't want his girl feeling unhappy. He felt so damn insecure if there was only a little communication between them. He just afraid of loosing his girl..


1 year passed by

The boy still loved his girl. But his attention was less than the previous. He thought that 'yeaah, she is my girl right now. And I know she will never leave me because she loves me so much.' ofcourse what he thought is right. The girl is still glued by him. The bad part is when she mad, the boy reaction was mad back to her. A war happened. Unhealthy relationship began. The girl decided to break up with him. Realize that he had done wrong thing, he said sorry and promised that he wouldn't do that anymore. He acted nice, gave her more attention again and the girl melted.


2 years passed by

Many temptation come from any sides to this couple. The girl attracted to another boy who was nicer than her boyfriend. But he always think that was a bad idea,  she realized that was not fair for the boy,  it would hurt the boy's heart later on. The girl left the adorable boy for the sake of her.boyfriend. That was not easy movement to let someone better went away.

In this hectic level, the boy might not know about what's already happened with the girl. The boy acted more selfish. When the girl mad, the boy did nothing anymore and just waited for the girl to be back again normally as usual. The boy did something wrong with the girl, he had hurt her, he was calm doing nothing no more sorry came out from his mouth then saying nothing but acted like there was nothing happened between them previously. Broken promises often happen in their relationship.

Feeling unwell with her relationship, the girl thinks back whether she wants to continue her broken relationship or not. But she always thinks one level ahead that the boy. If there were so many negative changing in her only boy and he never wanted to fix all the things up. His words were nonsense! The only boy she loves has changed.. Then what would happen in the future??!

She is thinking again.. And then she is finding herself with an idea, "how if this time I really am gonna  leave him behind then searching someone new? Someone better for my better life ahead?"

She has made up her mind, she chose to leave him behind. And then what happened with the boy? When she said that she wanted to go away from his life, he just realized that he loves her very much and he has done many stupid things so far. He regreted all the things that happened. He said sorry million times but now that was too late, the girl has gotten her own way..


Yes, kita ga bakal ngerasa sesuatu itu sangat berharga sampai kita benar2  kehilangannya.

And for you, it probably will also exist in us. I just feel so damn stupid to keep you all this time. The longer we are together, the more unsatisfication things we found all the way. And it often makes us sick of our relationship.

I feel so dumb moron for thinking about you all the time when I know that you're not thinking about me at all. You do nothing for us. NOTHING!! you have changed.

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It is just sad .

when you really need a help of someone, but that one seems ignore you. and prefer to choose another rather than you. he doesn't give his attention any longer. when you asked him to go, then he didn't do anything except comply to just let you go, no more prevention nor sacriface for asking you to still stay. 

And then..

the other person came and willing to help you with pleasure. willing to accompany you though he was in a busy situation. the one who make you laugh and happy. the one who make you feel comfort. the one who make you feel that you can count on him whenever you want him to be. the one who makes you his priority and not his options.

And it definitely makes you sad..

when you realize that the other one who nice is a nobody of you, and the one who ignore you is your very-closed-person.

And it still sad..

when something suddenly knocked your mind to leave him with no forgiveness anymore and just let him find someone new out there. because you just find someone better than him.

And it hurts..

when you just realized that you are not as important as you used to be for the one who ignore you.. the one who when you feel like wanna kill him, then suddenly he becomes nice, makes you feel like you are refall in love again and it makes you melted. and when you are nice, he likes wanna kill you over and over again... the one who always says sorry of hundred million times then do it his mistake again and again, and comes to you again without any guilty. or sometimes he seems like didnt do anything that have already broken you heart. the one who never respects you as his girlfriend..

THANK GOD FOR TODAY

Hallo, here is me again. Yes, writing again. I just came back from the hospital visiting my Daddy,  have I ever told you all, about  my Daddy’s condition lately ? hmmm.. he is sick, he got thypus and GE (Gastro Enteristis or also known as Diare in Bahasa), he ate Soto, one of Indonesian delicious food, my Mom gave it to him as Makan Sahur, then in the morning he had a very bad cramps in his  tummy. He screamed out loud, and I took him to go to the nearest hospital around my area, he was examined by the doctor  in IGD (Instalasi Gawat Darurat) and recommended for inpatient for several days, but you know that, it’s been 5 days that my Daddy is still lying on his bed on that hospital, padahal sih udah ngerasa sembuh dia-nya. Hahaha ! ok, enough for telling you about my Daddy, yeah just pray for him, 

get well soon Dad ! :*

I wanna tell you all about what happened in this  day.

In this afternoon, my close-friend, Mutiara Ayu, was coming to my home when I was busy with my Facebook . hahaha ! she was coming with –katanya-sih- her new boy friend, named… hmm.. sorry, I forgot  :p

I am sooo fuckin excited to hear that good news ! FINALLY gitu lohhh. Hahahaha ! then she gave me a gift for my birthday, sandal tidur Doraemon, though I confused about when will I have to wear those sandals. Lol. But thank you so much sweetheart ! :) :)

it's nice, isn't it ?! :))

Then once I was in the hospital, I opened my Facebook and saw my close-friend’s relationship is with another boy and not with the old boy that we usually knew before. I was so effin’ surprised because.. hey, I accompanied her to buy some cakes for the old boy’s party birthday on Friday ! and now, on Sunday I know they are breakin up and Ira is having a new relationship again with another guy?  What a shockin’ news ! but again, we all didn’t know what exactly happened during those 2 days, right?! Yes,my prayer is always with you, for your best, dear.. :)

Same story is happening too with my close-friend, Preti Maha Sari, she broke up with her boy friend, who had already been her only boy for the latest 2 years 6 months, I don’t really know about the problems, tapi biasanya mereka sih bakal nyambung lagi :p I’m also hoping for the best for your relationship with whoever that  will be your next darling yaa,, my Pretot ! :*

And how about me? Mine? I really don’t know how to explain my own relationship. Mine is same as Preti’s time relationship, yes, we both have been through the ups and downs for about 2 years plus almost 6 months, mine is in March and hers is in February. Back to the topic.. I’m totally angry with him and my anger hasn’t stop yet ! I hate being lied by him, because I never lie to him even a little about anything that often, though it hurts sometimes, but it’s better speak everything honestly than speak with lie ! iya, aku kecewa pada dasarnya, he was the almost perfect man I’ve ever known so far, I trusted him fully, but now.. those were not exist anymore.. he broke my heart with those untruthful words and broken promises ! the worst side is why the fuck I am still totally madly completely eyepopping seriously groundbreaking passionately deliciously in love with him after all the shits he put me through and I don’t know why can’t I just move on with my life ? I just don’t want to think about him  anymore. We are end ! and I hate him ! I know every single lie he breaths . I honestly just don’t care anymore. And it’s all his fault . thank you !

And you Dear Myself,

Just stop acting like your breakup was the end of the world. Really, I promise it will get better ! you don’t need to fucking kill yourself over one nasty guy. There are billions of people on this damn planet, yes, you will move on, remember that you really deserve better than this suck-guy. And you’ll fucking live well . Like I said, I promise !

Okay people, need a rest right now. Good night !

xoxo