Ramadhan, Mama, dan Bapak

Allahu Akbar.. 3x
Laa Ilaha Illallohu Allohu Akbar..
Allahu Akbar Walillahilhamd..

Yes, besok sudah lebaran! Ramadhan kali ini memang cukup berbeda, cukup perjuangannya, dll.

Mama dan Bapak..
Putrimu ini sungguh sangat banyak berhutang budi. Mungkin seluruh harta, jiwa, dan raga kalo diserahkan semua juga tidak akan mampu membalas. Semua orang tahu bahwa segala sesuatu yang dilakukan dan diberikan pada anak oleh orangtua ikhlas diberikan sepenuh hati. Semua orang juga tahu bahwa orang tua selalu mendo’akan kebaikan untuk anaknya. Sungguh kebaikan Mama dan Bapak tiada tara. Maka dari itu saya berusaha membahagiakan dan membuat bangga Mama dan Bapak memiliki saya.
Maka dari itu ku do’akan semoga semua kebaikan yang telah diberikan kepadaku ini mendapat balasan indah dari Allah ta’ala di dunia ini. Maka dari itu kudo’akan juga ditemani tetesan airmata ini, semoga Mama dan Bapak dimasukkan ke Jannah Firdausnya kelak… Aamiin

Hanya postingan ini yang mampu kutulis. Postingan yang sederhana karena lidah ini kelu tidak mampu berucap lagi. Postingan yang sederhana karena tangan ini tidak mampu lebih lama lagi menggoreskan kata. Postingan yang juga bisa disebut surat yang memang tidak pernah saya serahkan secara langsung karena rasa malu saya yang yakin tidak bisa membalas segala yang telah diberikan. Surat yang tak tahu apakah Mama dan Bapak akan membacanya :'''')

Sehat dan bahagia selalu ya Ma, Pak.. Doa saya selalu melantunkan nama Mama dan Bapak. Saya sayang sekali sama Mama dan Bapak.

Happy 5-year Anniversary

To you,

You came into my life in 2009, showed me enormous amounts of love and LOOK where we are today! Today is our 5 year anniversary. Can you believe it? I can’t help but smile knowing we’ve been in relationship that long!

What a journey it’s been!

It is no secret we’ve had our tough times. Last year was particularly hard for us, but with God’s grace, we are better than we’ve ever been. He helped us overcome some tough stuff, and the outcome? Now I feel closer to you, I feel more comfortable with you, and I am so much happier. There were days I wasn’t sure about continuing on, but now I see us together for the rest of our lives, and I have confidence we will work through any issues that could come along and try to stop us.

I know that is a rough start to a love letter, but I think it is such a testament to our love for each other. I am so thankful for what we went through, it was painful, but we are stronger than ever.

I hope to continue to grow in our relationship until our last days. I pray that I can be the best wife to you later on; loving, supportive and encouraging. I want to respect your authority and honor your role as a provider and protector in my life. I will continue to work on some of my weaknesses, like negativity, doubting and forgiveness.

I just want to say, I am glad you’ve been ‘calling me out’ for some of these things lately. You are helping me express my feelings in a better way. I appreciate that you can tell me when I am being ridiculous, or exaggerating an issue too far. I hope that I can take your comments lightly and get over things easier! I will try to forgive and forget faster, I know how bad I can be at that! I am challenging sometimes, and I want to thank you for dealing with my emotional breakdowns and for making me a better person along the way.  Thanks for loving me when I am difficult- through thick and thin.

Despite some fights and individual stubbornness, I’d say we’ve had a pretty amazing five years. We’ve made big and small decisions as a team, we’ve made new friends and shared lots of good times with those new and old.

But most importantly, we’ve learned to love each other unconditionally.

And you make it easy to love you.

There are so many reasons why I love you and if I had known the day I met you, the joys that were to come, I may have not believed them. You are more than I could ever tell you and I will never be able to thank you for making my life so unbelievable.

Happy five year anniversary, my love nta.

I love you!

An Open Letter To Him: How A Best Friend Becomes A Stranger

Whoaaa. Suddenly I have a slightest memory about a boy, who just dissapeared in my life. I do not even know what I should call him, an ex? I think a 'best friend' is the most suitable one.
Well, actually, there is nothing worse than choosing to let go and move on when you know that your best friend will never be more than just that, a best friend. It's a very difficult phenomenon to describe, which is why most go with the all-time favorite cliché: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
The truth is, that is the best way to describe it: You love someone deeply and feel that you ought to be part of each others' lives, but not in the capacity that you have been thus far. Unfortunately, not everyone can break up and stay friends. In fact, I'd say most couldn't. That is why we lose our best friends. We lose the people who are most important to us and, let's be honest, end up lost for a good moment afterwards ourselves.
With time, however, we learn to pick up the pieces and redefine our direction in life. Yet, not all of us completely move on. Some of us still hold on to that friendship even though it is long gone. Why? Because we do love them. We wish they could be part of our lives. But at the same time we understand that is impossible.. :')


Hey there, stranger.
It's been a very long time, which I'm sure you're aware of. I'd like to say that it was your decision alone to keep this distance, but I think we both know it was for the best. I'd like to say that I'm glad you are well, but as we both know I have absolutely no idea how you are. The one thing that can definitely be said is that when we cut the ties, we leave no strand behind, but slice right through until we no longer remember how to find each other. It's amazing to think that once we were inseparable, the best of friends.

You knew me inside and out, and I, you. We were there for each other in the best of times and through the most difficult of times. We definitely managed to put each other through hell on occasion, but when support was needed the most, support was given. Until, of course, that final day. I sometimes find myself wondering why we couldn’t stay in touch. Would it be so bad if we got together for coffee from time to time? Or if we gave each other a ring to see how the other was doing?

Using the phone to make calls has become archaic, but surely we could send a text to wish each other a happy birthday? Or a happy New Year? I mean, we've been through so much. You are a part of my life and there is nothing I can do to ever change that.

You can’t be forgotten because forgetting you would be like forgetting myself, so impossible. But then again, maybe you are right. Maybe we are better off as far apart as possible. We know we aren't right for each other. We know it would never work, and we know the friendship we have-we had-created a bond that would make slipping back into romance too easy. It would make repeating the same mistakes too likely, repeating the same heartbreak certain. That's what it really comes down to: It's not my heart that I’m worried about, but yours. Breaking my own heart would be my responsibility to bear, but I can't once again be responsible for breaking yours..

So all that I can do is wish you the best. Wish you a great, bright, loving future. Wish you to find the lover of your dreams and to create a lifetime of your fantasies. I wish for you to find a friend as great as me, but a much better partner. One who won't drag you through the mud. One who you won't feel the need to bury with guilt. I wish you all the best and although you will never read this, although we will never speak to each other again even on the phone, and although you are out of my life forever, I wish you nothing but short of happiness.
:')




Never again to be yours,

Your Lost Best Friend

Dia(m)

Di kebanyakan dini hari semacam ini, entah hikmah atau apa, yang pasti selalu ada satu rasa yang terkadang mirip,
mmm, . .

Orang itu adalah dia(m) dan dia(m) adalah orang itu, bukan orang lain. Ketika saya merasa tak begitu yakin melihat dia(m) masih tetap dia(m), berarti dia(m) bukan dia(m). Tapi ketika ada sesuatu, yang entah apa namanya, membuat saya yakin kalau dia(m) itu dia(m), berarti dia(m) adalah dia(m). Saya yakin, hari ini dia(m) memang dia(m). Bahkan kalau boleh saya bilang, mmm... dia(m) semakin "dia(m)".

Ah sudahlah,
biarkan saya berucap terakhir kalinya.
Malam ini saya merindukan dia(m) sang Ilalang ...

Selamat menjelang pagi, Ilalang  ...
Bawalah ku terbang. Berlalu bersama liarmu.
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