Untuk Kamu yang Menyebut Tuhan dengan Nama Berbeda

“Kita dua manusia yang sama-sama keras kepala. Meski sembahyang di tempat berbeda, kita nekat bersama atas nama cinta. 

Tapi bukankah perasaan tak pantas dipersalahkan? Bukankah Tuhan tak pernah memberi kita kesempatan – memilih jatuh cinta pada siapa? 

Tanpa mengingkari keyakinan, tanpa mengkhianati perasaan, mungkinkah berdua kita bisa mendamaikan keadaan?”

Happy 2015

Hello 2015! sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. I hope the holidays and end of the year have been good to you all! Yay!

Right now is the 7th of January. I know it's kinda late for writing 2015 Resolution, but actually I used to look forward to the end of every year on my own diary, but not this time. 2014 had been the greatest year of my life so far. I learned so much, lose so much, and yet gained so much too. This year has taught me all about taking choices, to be spontaneous, to be someone that I want to be, to be completely wild and crazy,and to love someone wholeheartedly. 

This year, I finally figured out what to do with my life, how to make my dreams come true, and where do I want to end up at. I lost some best friends along the way, but then found out the real ones who really want to stay. I broke my heart once but then found someone so unbelievably amazing who changed me and my life completely. Perhaps not once but tons of break down moments I had last year, but then I possessed something so beautiful. An understanding about life, about my own life, about the world itself and the way it works.  I never regret of whatever I have been doing so far. This year is not going to end for other 358 days. Just make sure you make the most of it incredible while it lasts :)

The holidays went by so quickly I haven't had time to think straight. Hmm.. I half-decided to break free of convention and not dedicate myself to any self improvement resolutions for the new year. Actually I'm still figuring out my resolution though. hahahaha

Alright. just let it be~

Happy 2015, everyone!!

God blessed!

Dear Khairul Arifin

I wrote this in the mid of September. Right before you leaving. I know this all is your decision to be an Army. But I guess I just didn't have enough guts to post it. I don't even know why. But then earlier this afternoon, I laid my head on the pillow and thought of you. You know what? Today is sooo lonely, all alone, none can freely accept my invitation to go somewhere anytime except you, just like if you were here. And then I decided to post this. To let you know how much I've missed you.   

13th of Sept 2014. I'm gonna miss you. That's for sure. I'm gonna miss your laughs, your smiles, your oh-sok-ganteng-face, your hugs, your funnyness, your silly stories, and a lil bit of your jayusness too. I'm gonna miss you mocking at me, telling me I'm not pretty enough wearing that clothes yet I know it's just you don't want to admit I'm the coolest sister anybody could ever ask for. I'm gonna miss your jahilness, how stubborn you are when I remind you not to this and that. I'm gonna miss the times we spend together, our gulat, our fight over the tv and wi-fi and motorcycle and guling and laptop. I'm gonna miss you and I hanging out together, ga mandi tapi pede aja jalan sama-sama. I'm gonna miss you being around. 

Thank you, karena udah jadi adek yang baik buat aku, thank you for putting up with my shit for the past 17years, thank you karena selalu ada buat aku walopun aku ngeselin, aku moody, aku gampang nangis, aku sensitif dan keras kepala. Thank you karena ga banyak adek lain di dunia yang bisa diajakin cerita dan cerita seluwes kamu. 

Promise me you'll always be just fine there with your military academy. Mba bangga sama kamu. 

And I love you, well I just don't want to admit it sometimes. 

Yes. I no longer have someone to share the stories with. That someone, my real bestfriend, is now miles apart from me. But we are still close at heart.  

Love, 

Darmayanti Budi Cahyani  

To Mom

Before He sent me down to Earth, I made a deal with God about the mother who would give birth to me. I asked Him for a perfect mother, but of course He wouldn’t give me one because humans were never designed to be perfect. He said it was because He wanted humans to be a blessing for one another, that their presence could complete someone else’s and make themselves perfect in their own way. So I made it simple and asked for nothing but a mother who wanted to have me.

And I put no expectations on living an awesome life on Earth.

We first met in September 1990. You’re okay. You might not be as beautiful as Princess Diana but you’re okay. I had not known you a lot, though. But I knew for sure you wanted me. Cause you nursed me well and sang me beautiful lullaby. And my cynical thoughts told me it’s only because I made a deal with The Mighty at the first place.

As I grew older, you taught me a lot of things, to which I sometimes disagreed, but we always ended up making up to each other. And you ended up right most of the time. You sent me to the best schools you could afford. You also made the best meals I could have ever tasted. Pampered me with the energy you have left after long days working at home. You certainly earned my respect. And for that my love grew to you. Even fonder when I was in my teenage rebel phase and you never judged me for everything I had done. You instead taught me three basic things on how to become a true woman; that women should be independent, smart and respectful on their beings.

I never thought life on Earth could be this lovely. And I never thought there’s a ordinary woman as awesome as you. God had finally sent me to the right woman.

Terima kasih Ma, karena selalu berjuang untuk aku. Terima kasih, karena memahamiku. Dan tidak pernah memintaku untuk menjadi orang lain. Terima kasih, karena selalu berada disana, di setiap saat aku membutuhkan pelukanmu. Terima kasih, karena tetap mempercayaiku, when the world turns its back against me. Terima kasih, karena telah menjadi sosok Mama yang selama ini memang aku butuhkan. Dan untuk every little things yang tidak bisa diungkapkan dengan kata-kata. 

You’re such a blessing, and for that I would ask for nothing but a little longer time to be with you. I love you, forever and always.

Love,

your daughter.