Holiday with Typhus

Yes. I've been sick for 4 days. Yesterday I had already checked my blood in a hospital laboratory and the result is I AM POSITIVE got typhus. It sucks I know becos it's been a loooong time I never got this kinda disease anymore. Maybe Im too tired because of my daily routine lately,you know.. Many assignments. Then maybe my diet also becomes one of the reasons. -____-

Despite all of that, the main thing is, I have a great family whom I really count on them no matter what time I need them, my good boyfriend who cares about me so much, and my best friends who cheers me up through some texts, so I dont really feel so alone and bored.

Thank God for these. I love you all.. :)

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Phisically not good enough

I have never blamed anyone for this, God either. But sometimes, when I flashback to some parts of moments in my life, I realized that maybe it is the one of the matters that causes me always underestimated by most of people. I DO NOT want this just so you know! No one wants this. But how if it is definitely my fate?!! And seems like there is no one to blame for it!

I cant even deny that sometimes I feel envy of someone who always get everything she wants, the one who phisically almost perfect!  the one who's always been adored by everybody, loved by everybody... Yeah, maybe that kinda life only exists on my dreams. In fact is, I have never got anything superb until now, sometimes I got the thing that I never wanted it to be, always got a lot of comments and criticism because of my physical appearance. although actually, I've tried my best to please them or even make them happy. In fact,  those were rarely successful. Most of them failed. It hurts me so bad for sure but I am very grateful to you God..

But you know.. I have never been this sad before.. :")

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It is just sad .

when you really need a help of someone, but that one seems ignore you. and prefer to choose another rather than you. he doesn't give his attention any longer. when you asked him to go, then he didn't do anything except comply to just let you go, no more prevention nor sacriface for asking you to still stay. 

And then..

the other person came and willing to help you with pleasure. willing to accompany you though he was in a busy situation. the one who make you laugh and happy. the one who make you feel comfort. the one who make you feel that you can count on him whenever you want him to be. the one who makes you his priority and not his options.

And it definitely makes you sad..

when you realize that the other one who nice is a nobody of you, and the one who ignore you is your very-closed-person.

And it still sad..

when something suddenly knocked your mind to leave him with no forgiveness anymore and just let him find someone new out there. because you just find someone better than him.

And it hurts..

when you just realized that you are not as important as you used to be for the one who ignore you.. the one who when you feel like wanna kill him, then suddenly he becomes nice, makes you feel like you are refall in love again and it makes you melted. and when you are nice, he likes wanna kill you over and over again... the one who always says sorry of hundred million times then do it his mistake again and again, and comes to you again without any guilty. or sometimes he seems like didnt do anything that have already broken you heart. the one who never respects you as his girlfriend..

I LOVE THEM BOTH!

Above is my Mom and Dad's picture. And I just found this photo in my daddy's handphone gallery. Then suddenly made me laugh out loud! HAHAHA wtf they were doing to take this kinda expression! Their face look incredibly weird but funny! Hahah

Happiness.. Yes, the happiness atmosphere I felt when I was seeing this photo. This photo taken in Bengkulu City, at Pantai Panjang Beach. But I dont know when exactly this photo was taken. I miss that beach so freakin much loorrrhh.. Wish that someday I could visit that city again yaa.. Aamiin

Btw, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012, readers! I have no new year's resolution though. Just go with the flow then just make new day's resolution in my everyday life. Why I think that way?

Because I only believe in "new day's resolutions". I think everyday is a new day and a new opportunity to change. I don't believe in "new year's resolutions". Because I think people make it just because new year comes around, and trust me nobody keeps them! ;)

Bestest luck for all of us!






Much love,


Aya



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