Phisically not good enough

I have never blamed anyone for this, God either. But sometimes, when I flashback to some parts of moments in my life, I realized that maybe it is the one of the matters that causes me always underestimated by most of people. I DO NOT want this just so you know! No one wants this. But how if it is definitely my fate?!! And seems like there is no one to blame for it!

I cant even deny that sometimes I feel envy of someone who always get everything she wants, the one who phisically almost perfect!  the one who's always been adored by everybody, loved by everybody... Yeah, maybe that kinda life only exists on my dreams. In fact is, I have never got anything superb until now, sometimes I got the thing that I never wanted it to be, always got a lot of comments and criticism because of my physical appearance. although actually, I've tried my best to please them or even make them happy. In fact,  those were rarely successful. Most of them failed. It hurts me so bad for sure but I am very grateful to you God..

But you know.. I have never been this sad before.. :")

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