The difference between IMPRESSIVE and trying too hard TO IMPRESS :

• Impressive is when you enter a party and everybody notice and take turns to say hello-how-are-you. Trying too hard is when you take turns to say hello-how-are-you to everybody then start to pay special attention to people you think matter the most. Fuckin' butt kissers annoy the hell out of me.

• Impressive is when you bought someone a present and they remember it even though the next year maybe you forgot their birthday. Trying too hard is when someone gives you a present and you give them something back like food or chocolate in return the very next day.

• Impressive is when you offered a drink to guests and after a sip they seriously compliment you, you say thank you. Trying too hard is when the guests compliment, you share the recipe and offer to make them some nice food for dinner.

• Impressive is when you wear long-sleeves when it's cold and guys still turn their heads. Trying too hard is when you insist on wearing halter neck on cold windy and rainy days just for the sake of popping half your boobs out.

• Impressive is when you buy fake Gucci wallet and people won't notice. Trying too hard is when you empty your piggy-bank to buy real mink and people pretend to touch your arm while saying hello because they're trying to prove otherwise.

• Impressive is when you call someone and they call you right back after they know. Trying too hard is when you call them over and over and over and over and over and over..and yet they're never there.

• Impressive is when people refuse to let you be the one behind the camera when it's picture time. Trying too hard is running from the toilet with half your skirt still up because you don't want to miss it.

• Impressive is when you ask people for a favor, they happily accept because they like you and not because they feel they have to. Trying too hard is offering to help without being asked.

• Impressive is when your car is messy and people who complains ended cleaning it automatically while saying how unorganized you are. Trying too hard to impress is when you clean your, otherwise messy, car before you pick someone (haha I actually write this point just for the sake of saying I'm impressive)

• Impressive is when you're quiet during the whole meeting and your boss still notices your attendance. Trying too hard is cutting people in the middle of their talks, and arguing your way through friends that now consider you as a threat just so you look smart and capable.

• Impressive is when people don't know you are really the brain behind a great project and yet they still admit you're a great person. Trying too hard is when other people succeeded, you tell everyone you know them and act like they're your best friends (like, in a conversation, you'll hear: Oh yeah, I know her well, she's great. She's a friend of a friend of a relative of my boyfriend's third cousin)

• Impressive is when you help people sincerely. Trying too hard is when you make deals to help other people when you know you're not capable of helping and end up asking other people to help you.

Trauma Syndrome

Huaaah. Tengah malam pun saya menggalau. Kali ini galau karena trauma. Tau kan yg mslh backstabber itu? Hehe

Kali ini saya takut. Saya takut buat kehilangan org lagi. Saya mesti apa yah? Saya nganggep dia org yg paliiiing dekat sm saya slm di Uni. Dia baik. Baik sekali. Duluu saya pernah rela buat ngelakuin apaaaaa aja buat dia, krna ntah deh.. Mgkn dr bertujuh itu saya lbh sayang ke dia. Tp mgkn semua itu berubah pas saya tau ternyata dia sudah menjadi sahabat org lain. Sediiiiihhhhh bgt rasanya!!! Sakit sih hati saya.. Mgkn krna saya udah terbiasa sgt terbuka sm dia.

Saya udah tau lama sih. Itupun jg karena mgkn kami dl ga 1 klmpok. Dia yg mencar sndri dan kmdn dia deket sm mreka. Saya udah nyoba buat sgt memaklumi itu, tp makin kesini makin jeles mgkn yah..

Lagi dan lagi. Saya ngerasa useless. Saya senengg bgt klo ada org yg manja sm saya entah knp. Makanya klo mreka crita itu rasanya seneeeng skali. ALHAMDULILLAH saya bs sdkt berguna buat mreka.

Saya sada bgt sih pas kmrn. Pas ada salah satu tmn kami ada slek sm Shbt ke-2 dia. Saya heran knp dia ga ngebelain temen kami yah? Trs saya dpt omongan dr org klo dia orgnya cm mau senengnya aja. Pas lg males sm Shbt ke2 mreka, dia ke kami. Pas males sm kami dia ke mreka. Trus kata org itu dia jg paling ga mau buat setia kawan. Orgnya mau didengerin aja tp gamau ngedengerin atau mengerti org lain.

Saya sakiiit hati ngedenger org itu crta jelek sm saya ttg shbt saya yg satu itu. Dirumah saya mikir, apa mksd dia blg bgtu. Pas saya flashback mgkn ada bnrnya jg... Saya br ngeh klo stiap saya ada mslh sm org lain, dia cm bsnya mndukung dr blkng. Pas nyatanya dia pasti menghindar dr saya. Ada kalanya pas hari itu dia terlihat menghindar. Mgkn takut kena ampas dr saya kali yah! Gatau lah..

Saya jg ga pernah mlht dia semanja itu. Bahkan sama kami yg udh duluan sahabatan sm dia. Saya cukup paham klo dia orgnya tertutup. Tp ntah knp sama org itu dia bs ngmng kaya bgtu. Sediiiihhhhhhh rasanyaaaa!!! T_T ngiri rasanya bs diperlukan seperti itu. Rasanya kaya... Sahabat saya lbh percaya bercerita dan berharap sm sahabatnya yg lain. Hufttt

Mgkn saya terlalu mengagungkan perahabatan. Mgkn saya terlalu menyebalkan dan menjengkelkan. Tp saya brani jamin untuk siapa saja yg mnjd shbt saya, I will do everything for you as much as I can. I will always do my best for making you happy.


Dan untuk yg ini. Saya takut kehilangan org lagi. Mgkn para haters saya akan bersorak sorai akan hal ini. Tp mgkn klopun mmg khlngan, itu sdh takdir. Takdir saya jg yg mgkn ga akn pernah punya sahabat yg banyak. Hehe

Klo disuruh milih, saya sih gamau ngelepas kalian.. Tp klo lagi2 itu mmbt klian lbh lbh tenang dan nyaman, silahkan. Saya ikhlas :''''')

WEARING HIJAB

Heloo world! Finally, on 19th of November ago, I started wearing hijaab for the very first time! ALHAMDULILLAAAH may it lasts long forever.

Doakan saya jadi muslimah yang baik yah! AMIINNN :)

Aku Sediiihhhhh

Ya Allahh.. Jadikanlah aku org yg sukses ya nantinya.. Agar aku bs membuat org tua ku bahagia dan bangga. Agar aku bs lbh bs mensyukuri hidup.

Jadikanlah aku org yg dicintai banyak org karena kebaikannya. Jauhkanlah hati hamba dr penyakit hati yg membuahkan dosa.

Jadikanlah hamba org yg selalu menolong atau mengerjakan sesuatu dgn ikhlas tnpa memikirkan suatu imbalan apapun.

Berikanlah hamba Mu ini kesempatan untuk meraih cita2 hamba dan mimpi2 hamba.

Luaskanlah rezeki hamba. Agar hamba bisa mengunjungi kota sucimu bersama keluarga hamba.

Jadikanlah hamba org yg selalu taat beribadah kepadaMu. Selalu berucap syukur dan berhuznudzon.

Lancarkan dan mudahkanlah semua urusan hamba Ya Allah..

Sehatkan lah hamba jasmani dan rohani.

Perkenankanlah hamba Mu ini untuk dapat berbahagia di dunia dan jg di akhirat.

AMIINN. :') :')

Thank God I Have You

I've always grown up with the belief that life won't matter unless you have someone to share it with.  I'm so glad I've finally found that person.  I can tell you everything and you are always there for me.  We both do our best to make each other happy which isn't a hard task.  I'm so in love with you and I couldn't picture sharing my life with anyone else but you.  

You just dont know how much I want this

I WILL make book-wall-shelves like this when I have my own house later on. Hahahahaha thia is the things that I couldnt ask for more!!! >.<

ARE WE still bestfriends like we used to be?

I WANNA CRY !! T_____________T

One of my high school bestfriends forgot my birthday. We have been besties for more than 8 YEARS. I do love her, but it seems like she doesn't love me as I do. She didnt even have the decency to say happy birthday to me. I'm not gonna lie and say my feelings aren't hurt. I know we all get scatterbrained and forget things, and I don't make a big deal out of my birthday. I don't ask for gifts or things, all I ask and hope for is people not to forget. I never forget hers, and I'm sad she forgot mine :'( 

It just... hurt, because I consider her as my best friend and she couldn't even remember my birthday. I don't get it. It's like she's stopped putting effort into our friendship, and it's no longer a 50-50 thing. I know it sucks to see me like this, over-reacting, it seems like such a tiny thing, and it is, yet I still get depressed about it. It affects me more than it should, and I hate it. I wish I would stop getting depressed about such stupid things, but I can't help it.

The thing is, I don't even know if I should bring it up. My feelings are hurt, true, but I know she didn't do it on purpose, and I don't want to make her feel bad. Dilemma, especially when she remembers she forgot. Maybe I just got jealous of her, she has many bestfriends, and she preferred to spend the time with her not with us anymore, I just feel like she has already take aside me as her 'bestfriend' into 'uninteresting-old-bestfriend'. Maybe this whole univeristy-life has made us drift apart, and I will reconcile our friendship if I have a chance to meet her again. I really hope that's the case. If it's not, well, I'll be really sad then.

 I really do treasure our friendship. Perhaps, I'll try to forgive her and move on. We all are forgetful, we all make mistakes. I know that it seems mean and insensitive of her, but I do need to be the better person and forgive her, even if she never truly apologized to me.

i love them so much!

Don't Stop Chasing

Hey Guys! How's life? Today is the next 4 days from my birthday. Hahah

Thank you for the people who have made my day! Especially my lover, family, and bestfriends! You are all rock! Hahahah :)

Many gifts, many prayers comes out. Thank you so much for those sweet and blessed words. And also the great gifts. Heheh

So this time, I just want to share my feeling about how I wonder me and my boyfriend could run together this long. It isn't like the previous stories in my life though. We are now has already been together for almost 3 years and a half. Quite long. But nothing I could feel than just feel in love all over again in each day. Yes, I love him. Though sometimes, I also still worry about how it could be and still wondering why people out there seem to be easy to cheat on their couple and be dishonest with their relationship. Then I end up with these words.

I think that one of the biggest reason why relationships do not work out in the long run is because at one point, one side (or both) stops trying. Before one claims another person as their significant other, they would do anything to make that person happy. They would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming. They would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. They would write corny messages and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile upon your face.

But...

Once they claim you as theirs, all of those things eventually stop. The 5 page texts slowly turn into 1. The constant calls turn into not calling at all. And the lovely endearments turn into daily arguments. Actually me and my boyfie ever been in this kinda situation, but we could pass it smoothly.

So, in order for a relationship to work, don't ever stop chasing. Just because the person you want is now consider “yours”, it does not mean they deserve anything less than the time when you’re trying to win them over. Appreciate them as your great couple, treat her/him as same as the first time you want her/him so badly to be yours. You know, it needs two to tango! ♥

a good one deserves a good also.

Cheers! :)

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

230812
Thank you for the surprise.
Thank you for staying and loving.
Fourty one months already.

Happy 41st monsiversary beloved nta..

Love you as always. :-*

Truly yours,

Darmayanti Budi Cahyani  

Happy Eid Mubarak 1433 H

Hi everyone! Today is the day of victory for Moslem people in all around the world. Alhamdulillah (thank God) because we can pass the Ramadhan with our sincere and pure heart because of our Allah SWT. I would like to wish you all, especially those who celebrate it,  HAPPY IDUL FITRI 1433 H.

Taqabalallahu minna wa minkum, shiyamana wa shiyamakum.

(May Allah accept it from you and us, my fasting and yours).

May Allah the Almighty bestow upon us opportunity to meet this holy month in the year and years to come. Forgive me for the wrong I have made, any unpleasant act or word to any of you, here we are again in purity and simplicity trying to make a good relationship of mankind.

May Allah bless you all. Have a memorable Idul Fitri-time with your love ones guys! :D:D


"We don't forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it--because we need it." - Bree Despain

Ramadhan Ya Kariim

Jadi ceritanya saya lagi sedih banget ini gara2 puasa sudah mau habis. Tinggal besok doang! Dan tadi udah sholat tarawih yang terakhir. Sperti kayak kehilangan sesuatu yang selama ini jadi penenang jiwa..

ALHAMDULILLAH, di puasa kali ini ga tau kenapa jg saya jd lbh rajin mengunjungi rumah Allah. Saya cuma bolong tarawih dan subuhan  2x. Itu diluar bolong yg dapet tamu bulanan loh yah! Mama saya jg heran kenapa bln ini saya sm adek saya ga susaaaah bgt buat disuruh subuhan di masjid. Kali ini emang riang sekali dehh. We did it sincerely! We did it happily and thats why we feel like Allah is closer to is. Kami berasa makin disayangi..

Tadi pas bacaan di sholat trakhir tarawih (sholat rakaat 7-8) rasanya udah ga kuat nahan tangis, akhirnya jatuh juga.. Hufttt.. Saya kurang nih! Saya jd pengen bulan ramadhan diulang lagi. Diri juga jadi sdkt lbh sabar, liburan kuliah pun jd bikin puasa tambah terfokus, sholat subuh dan isya yg tak pernah tertinggal, etc.

"Mungkin ga tahun depan bakal ketemu Ramadhan lagi?"

My Allah, plis let me try it again. I wanna be better and better. I wanna be closeeeer and closerr to you again.  AMIINNNN. So tomorrow my mom and I will be cooking about the next day straight for making some Lebaran Ied ocassional food. I'll be missing the moment when I have to wake up early at 3 a.m in order to get some 'early breakfast' as a condition in doing Puasa.

Yah semoga semua ada hikmahnya.  Terima Kasih Ya Allah... :'D

MY SECRET OBSESSION

Hi ! I'm at my room preparing to go to sleep and I'm holding my Eiffel necklace given by my only man dan ngga tau kenapa gue iseng pengen sharing tentang salah satu cita-cita gue.

Gue dari kecil nyampe sekarang punya banyak banget cita-cita dan salah satunya gue pengen banget bisa jadi pembawa acara jejak petualang kaya Riani Jangkaru atau bisa bawa acara keliling keliling Indonesia/dunia gitu. Kenapa gue mempunyai obsessi untuk menjadi pembawa acara kaya gitu karna setelah gue udah engga lagi ngerasain yang namanya liburan ke Bengkulu dan otomatis I might never see such a virgin beach anymore (errhh), gue ngerasa mata dan pikiran gue lebih terbuka lagi dengan keindahan di Indonesia. Gue tau Indonesia itu kaya. Kaya dalam segala hal tapi mungkin kurang di expose atau kurang dimanfaatkan. Waktu dulu pernah iseng surfing via dunia maya menilik deeper about Papua, Natuna, Nusa Tenggara yang which were bokap gue dulu pernah kaya tugas disono gitu, waktu jaman gue kecil, bliau suka cerita dan nunjukin foto2 bliau sm temen2nya tentang indahnya pantai, gunung dan laut ditempat2 itu. gue ngga pernah nyangka kalo ternyata mereka itu indah banget. dulu gue kira papua itu ngga menarik dan menyeramkan tapi ternyata gue salah total. Banyak banget keindahan di Indonesia yang tersembunyi.

Next time kalo gue dikasih kesempatan sama Allah buat punya uang yang berlebih, trus ada liburan panjang gue mau banget bisa jalan jalan keliling Indonesia. Lebih mencari tau dan mengerti keindahan dari Indonesia…. Mau mengagumi lebih dekat tentang karya Tuhan. Mungkin one day kalo misalkan emang mimpi gue yang satu ini bisa kejadian, gue pengen banget bisa ke Aceh, Banjarmasin, Maluku, NT,  Papua. Traveling udah jadi hobby gue dari dulu. Gue demennnn banget kalo diajak jalan2 buat kenal sama alam. Gue cinta banget Traveling dan mudah mudahan dengan cita cita gue yang satu ini bisa ngebantu orang lain ngebuka matanya dengan keindahan Indonesia yang ngga pernah disangka…

Diluar Indonesia?
THAILAND, MECCA, PARIS, OZ, ZLATA PRAHA, VENICE, ouuhhhhhhhh I wanna go there so freakin baaaddd!!! >__<

Wah baru nulis kaya gini aja gue udah excited banget ! kalo udah ada yang pernah traveling keliling Indonesia atau kemana gitu, cerita cerita dong ! ada yang punya saran buat tempat tempat yang bagus buat dikunjungin ? blom punya kesempatan sekarang ya gapapa deh yaa, buat referensi aja. hahaha


Atau mungkin one day gue bakal dapet kesempatan buat traveling ke bulan or MARS ?  :P

Hmmmm…. gue udah mulai ngantuk nih !Mau nelpon Fadhil dulu, mau berbagi mimpi. kali saja bisa mewujudkannya bersama. hihi
Im signing off. Good night.

Adios!

Dear My Dearest..

I've been through so much with you, more than any other guy and I still want you as much as I did the first time I laid eyes on you. Every time I see you, it's like meeting you for the first time all over again. It's the butterflies in the stomach, the not knowing what to say, but out of all the things you've taught me, there's still one thing I don't know. I don't know how to fall out of love with you.

I don't know how to let go and as I stand there looking at you, I wonder if there will ever be a day when I get over your smile, when will I let go of the hugs you gave me that I continue to feel. A day when I forget the words you said to me, forget what you meant to me or forget how much I love you. But, no matter what you did to me or whatever happens to us, I know I could get over, let go, or forget you.

When you care about something as much as I do you, being apart is the hardest thing to get used to. I thought I'd handle it just fine and that I'd be happy just to keep you on my mind. But it isn't always that easy. Sometimes, one thing that would please me the most is simply seeing you. I knew that I'd miss you, I just didn't know I'd miss you as much as I do.

I want to share my tears with you.

I want to share my love with you.

I want to share my happiness with you.

I want to share my strength with you, my smiles, my frowns, my joy, my loss, my good days, my bad days, the rain, and the sunshine.

The simple is I want to share my life with you.

People can just be best friends but at one point or another, one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe... just maybe, forever. ♥ ♥ ♥

YOU. I like the way you make me feel even when you're nowhere near. I love you and I will always do.

Posted via Blogaway

HAPPY RAMADHAN!!

Hello everyone!

Happy Ramadhan for moeslem people in the world. Alhamdulillah we can meet this holy month again. I have sent my Sorry-Msg to all the lovers and haters (if any) for all my sins and mistakes.

I have a willing though, I dont care if there were anyone who didnt reply my msg. Thats her/him bussiness with Him above. I say Sorry sincerily to them in order to be able for spending The Ramadhan's days peacefully without any sins in the beginning.

So for you too, I say sorry too for every little bad thing I hve done for you if any.  Allah bless us as always!

:)  Amiin

Posted via Blogaway

Time flies and changes, so do the people

Saya kangen masa dimana dia selalu ada buat saya.

Saya kangen dimana dia selalu menomor satu kan saya.

Saya kangen dimana dia selalu marah pas relationship di fesbuk saya ganti ke single dan kemudian ngerubahnya sendiri.

Saya kangen di cemburuin.

Saya kangen dia yg tiba2 muncul sewaktu saya lagi marah dan minta baikan smbil bawa es krim.

Saya kangen di yg ga pernah bs kalo ga denger suara saya sehari aja.

Saya kangen pelukan manjanya dia waktu lagi nenangin saya.


Sekarang semuanya udh ga ada, mgkn org yg benci sm saya bakal seneng ngeliat saya seperti ini. Saya jg benci untuk ngakuin kebenaran omongan slh satu org yg benci sama saya, kalo saya itu punya pacar yang ga pernah ada pas saya butuhin ga kaya pcarnya dia.... T_______T



Seandainya kamu ngerti perasaan ini, Nta... Seandainya skrg ini kamu sesayang dulu sama aku... Seandainya kamu ngerti sesakit apa ini hati aku dn sesesak apa rasanya dada ini buat nafas cm gara2 perasaan ya ga karu2an ini.. T_____T


Sumpah Ya Allah.. Kalo ada yg lbh perhatian, peduli, dn syg sm saya tolong banget kasih ke saya secepetnya.. Saya cape susah begini terus.. Sedangkan di anteng aja seakan saya udh ga ada harganya lagi dimata dia... Saya cape kaya pengemis buat mnta dingertiin dan diperhatiin tp dia ga pernah bs mau ngerti. Saya pengeeeeen bgt ketemu cowo lain yg suka sama saya lg trus saya jg suka. Jadinya saya ga mesti lama2 bgini terus.. Saya ga mau lagi rasanya sayang sama dia sebegininya Ya Allah. . Saya MALU T.T

Kenapa sih semuanya pada manis pas pertamanya aja? Dia pikir dia cakep apa?!

Ilangin perasaan sayang ini Ya Allah... Aku mohon.. Tolong jadikan aku yg lbh baik dan berikan aku yg lbh baik lg Ya Robbi... T_T_T_T

Aamiin.

Posted via Blogaway

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST, PUPUT

I'm writing it here bcs seems like my msg in the early morn wasnt sent perfectly as the first plan. :'(
I have very big REGRETFUL on my head. Hopefully,  you were happy todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay :)
We'll have some fun in another day yaaaa. plis give me a second chance. TRAKTIR !! :p

And this is my msg for being the last one tonight ! :D

Is it already struck 23.58 ? Hahah maaf yaa blakangan. Biar terkesan sdikit.
Puput - ku yang bawel dan cempreng, teman seper lebay-an, seper kecil-an, seper selebor-an, seper pikun-an, seper sukangayal-an (oke yang itu maksa), pokoknya my soulmate..
Maaf ya mungkin di ultah kamu yg menginjak kepala 2 sekian ini aku ga bisa ngasih apa2 yang spesial. aku pingin cerita banyak sekali sebenarnya, walau mungkin nanti kamu cuma nangkep dikit dan responnya gitu-gitu aja. Klo skrg kita udah jarang curhat2an sihh. Dulu aku seneng kalo curhat sama kamu.kamu ga pernah capek dengerin aku mengeluh hehe. semoga mimpi mimpi mu tercapai yaa diumur dua puluhanmu ini.
semoga makin dewasa, makin pintar, cepet dpt kerjaan dan jg jodoh, semoga semuanyaaaaaaaa.
once again, happy birthday my little freakin' bestbud.
make a wish,
and God will make it real for you.
trust me, I love youuuuuu :*

Pelajaran Kehidupan

Satu lagi yang aku pahami malam ini. Kata Bapak, kita bisa merasakan apa yang dirasakan sama seseorang atau setidaknya ikut untuk merasakan karena kita itu merasa satu, merasa dekat, merasa saling memiliki dan merasa mempunyai hak untuk berlaku demikian.

Dan aku pun baru ngerti kenapa waktu dulu pas masih kecil, aku suka ikut2an berantem sm org lain karena org itu ngejahatin sahabat aku pada waktu itu. Ya itu bs dibilang karena aku itu sahbat dia dan dia sahabat aku. Aku merasa memiliki dia dan aku merasa satu. Aku gamau ada org lain yang jahat sama dia. Sebenarnya kita udah belajar untuk saling melindungi itu dari kita kecil tapi mgkn pada waktu itu caranya aja yang sdkt frontal dan ga pake otak lg. Hahaha

Begitu pun dgn keluarga. Disaat ada salah satu merasa sakit, yg lain jg mrasa sedih. Disaat yg satu sdg susah, yg lain pun ikut sibuk untuk cari bgmn cara pemecahan permasalahannya. Kadang emng suka tertutupi oleh emosi. Tapi yakinlah, keluarga melakukan itu karena sayang dan tujuannya baik. Ada orang yg jahat sama Bapak misalnya, aku tau aku ga kenal dia, tapi aku pasti ikut g suka sm org itu. Krna aku gamau ada org yg jahatin klrga aku apalagi ngebuat mreka sedih.

Sama pacar dan sahabat2 aku jg bgtu. Karena aku merasa sangat dekat, merasa satu, merasa saling memahami, terkadang aku ikutan gila klo mreka lagi gila. Haha. Partner in crime! Mereka sedih, aku jg ga bs seneng. Yg aku bs lakuin cm ngebuat hati mereka tenang. Kalo mereka lg seneng, aku pasti senng juga. Aku pasti ikut bhagia tanpa ada rasa cemburu ataupun iri. Karena kata Bapak, ketika kita merasakan hal itu, itu sudah dipastikan dia bukan org terdekat kita. Dia bukan org yg memiliki keterkaitan hati dan prasaan dgn kita.

Kata Bapak, kita boleh menyombongkan diri, bersensi ria atau bergila hormat ria dgn orang luar TETAPI TIDAK DENGAN ORANG TERDEKAT. Waktu aku tanya kenapa, bliau menjawab ya karena mereka sudah tau kalian melebihi mereka yg diluar sana. Mereka sudah memahami kamu lbh dr org lain diluar sana.

Dan dri sana pun aku paham, kenapa aku kok malah suka klo ada org2 terdekat yg udah gapake basa basi lagi didepan aku. Yg mereka ngatain aku ini itulah, yg mereka mendorong atau menempeleng kpala aku lah dgn tawa dan candaan merek, yg mereka kentut sembarangan didepan aku lah, yg mreka tb2 sensinya kumat lah, ITU SEMUA NGEBUAT AKU SENENG dan ga bisa marah. Karena dgn itu aku merasa tambah dekat dgn mereka. Karena aku tau sejelek apapun hal yg mereka lakukan sama aku, akhirnya aku sama mereka pun masih tetap satu. Masih tetap saling menyayangi dan saling mendukung satu sama lain. Aku mgkn bs marah besar kalo org lain atau bahkan orang asing yg berlaku bgtu sm aku. Ya because they have nothing to do with me, THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. That's why I cannot accept that. Bener toh?!

Yah bgtulah.. Mereka memang org lain, tapi orang2 terdekat lah yg bs berbuat banyak dgn kita dan bgtu pula sbaliknya. Orang2 yg tau kebaikan dan kejelakan aku luar dalam atas bawah (haha), dan mreka msh menerima aku dgn sangat baiknya itulah yg akan aku berikan semua yg terbaik yg aku punya dan jikalau suatu saat aku berada diatas, hanya merekalah yg berhak bersanding disamping saya.

Mereka adalah orang yg tau setiap inchi dari hidup saya. Mereka adalah orang yang bisa saja menghancurkan hidup saya hanya dlm hitungan detik. Tetapi hanya dgn merekalah saya menaruh kepercayaan yg lbh dgn seluruh jiwa raga saya. Mereka org yg patut untuk bs dipercaya. Kami  saling menyayangi, memiliki, dan percaya. :')

Posted via Blogaway

GROW OLD WITH YOU

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you

Kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you

Feed you

Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink

I could be the woman who grows old with you

All I wanna do is grow old with you

:")

Two-Faced People are Around the Corner

This time, I wanna talk about people who are Two-faced, Hypocrites, Backstabbers, Liars or whatever you want to call them. This post is a conclusion of my own experiences and nothing else but it.

So yess, I have been in this such a horrible moment 2 TIMES so far, actually. You can say that I AM  FOOL, I know that for sure. I was too far for being a smart person! I should have learned from last experience though, but I admit it, I didn't even recognize such a time. I was too over-joy of my life.

But I promise, till this time going on, I WILL NEVER be trapped anymore. I have more than enough experience for this! You know, you don't have to go around the world just in case you want to know the world. I supposed you know what I mean...

My parents always stressed on the idea that all people should be given a chance, if those people were a bad influence then next step will be trying to make them fade away slowly with no harm to be done, but if those people turned to be good, then we should try to let them stick around and stay in our lives. 

Strangely, it has never been cleared to me, how to deal with Double Faced motherfuckers, so learning the hard way so well was good idea I guess, but I do believe, hopefully someday they'd realize what they had already been doing that what they had done is hurt someon else's heart so freakin' hurt!

p.s.

if you blame me for whatever I did 'many years ago', I'm SO SORRY for that. For God's sake, nobody's perfect. Everybody knows and familiar with that such a sentence, but nobody really understands. I did many wrong ways, but I do improving myself along the way though. So please, don't expect me to always be good and kind and loving on you. There are times when I'll be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand. I am just like you dear, an extra-ordinary human being, I cannot push myself more than that. 

This is how it goes then: I will respect those who respect me, and forget those who forget me. I'll be the reflection of yourself in treating your life. Simple as that. 

Thank you.

Best Friends?

You know what the best feeling in the world is?

Having a best friend, that one person who loves you & never judges you no matter what, and no matter how badly you fuck up. Someone who you have endless conversations with and can communicate by just using your eyes. That one person who just walks in your house, opens the fridge and grabs whatever they want out. Lastly it’s that person who knows so much about you that they could ruin your life in a second. But you trust them with your life and you know that they will never ever do that no matter what.

Your best friends are your release. They are who you have the most fun with, and yet when the going gets tough, those people turn around and suddenly they’re not just making you laugh, they’re being this rock and giving you all their advice. Even though you’re so much your own person, if you dissect yourself, I guarantee you that your friends are in there. Their influence is incredible. Best friends are what you need most.

All friendships have ups & downs &, for whatever reason, girls can be incredibly bitchy to one another for no apparent reason. That’s the problem with us, we’re too much alike. We’re stubborn asses & always want to get our own way. We both hate to be wrong & love to be right. But that’s the thing about love. No matter what happens, we always come back for each other one more time.

I believe that friends can last forever.

I believe that friendships can go on without fights.

I believe that friends are supposed to try their best to be there for the other.

I believe that friends understand and trust each other.

I believe that friends would choose you over their boyfriend.

I believe that friends will never ignore the other.

I believe that friends are open with each other.

I believe that friends don’t lie to each other.

I believe that friends won’t blame the other for something that wasn’t even their fault.

I believe that friends trust what each other say more than other people.

And I believe that friends love each other more than themselves.

I’ve been walked on, used and forgotten and I don’t regret one moment of it because in those moments, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned who I can trust and can’t. I’ve learned the meaning of friendship. I’ve learned how to tell when people are lying and when they’re sincere. I’ve learned how to be a teenager, and how to grow up when I need to. I won’t ever take what I have for granted. This is life, live it one day at a time. You never know how many days you’ve got left.

And Friendship, it is  just like a party; you invite a lot of people invited to the show, some go, some join you and some laugh with you, some don’t come. But in the end after the fun, there would be a few who would clean up the mess with you.  Thats what we called Bestfriends.

And I wish I would grow old with all my best friends together. We would hang out and talk and maybe we could bring our grandchildren along, and when they ask us how long we’ve been friends, we’ll smile and say, “almost forever”.


Actually,  Life’s not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back.


Best friends are the ones you sing out loud with, act crazy around, the ones you cry & laugh all night long with, trust with, the ones you love, & yes those are true BEST FRIENDS!

Posted via Blogaway

Silent Tears

"If I could have you back tomorrow. If I could lose the pain and sorrow I would do just anything to make you see. You still love me

I cry silently. I cry inside of me. I cry hopelessly

Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

I cry

Cause you're not here with me

I cry

Cause I'm lonely as can be

I cry hopelessly

Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again..."

"You were my sun. You were my earth.  But you didn't know all the ways I loved you..."

Posted via Blogaway

Pep Guardiola Quits as a Barcelona Coach, Tito Vilanova Replaces.

It is so saaaad for me hearing Pep's going to leave Barca at the end of this season :'(

I know, he is a type of person who anti-fails in any match. After a difficult season on and off, Barca was kicked out of champions league and la liga within a week! And it sucks!

Only biased haters can degrade Pep! With time, you will understand that he's one of the best strategists ever in football.

Is it easy to win a treble in your first assignment as a league club coach?

Did Mou achieve that?

Another coach looking for money would have gone ahead to sign with another club (fyi, he has loads of offers!), but he is spending 1 year to go back and invent another style of football. I wish he can be on retainer with Barca after his 1 year leave. Any club that lands him then will have a treasure in their hands.

He knew since he'll leave end of this season; you can understand his numerous experiments with 3-4-3 and also honing the skills of La Masia guys (like Thiago, Tello, Cuenca, etc) thus bequeating some assets to the new manager. And you can also see him involved in getting a new coach for the club.

I doff my hat for Pep!! Adios Maestro. I'll miss you. We will. Viscá Barcá! :)

Posted via Blogaway

TOO MUCH LOVE = END UP HURT

It is true that if you love someone over, you'll end up by hurting yourself deeper than you have thought before. I know, Love is innocent and when it comes to love we can do nothing except become its slaves.

Mungkin aku terlalu cinta, mungkin aku mengharap banyak. Tetapi seharusnya aku tahu, aku telah menurunkan banyak sekali klasifikasi yg aku buat pada saat aku pertama kali ingin belajar tentang cinta. Dan itu hanya demi kamu.

Aku mengalahkan banyak ego diri agar bisa tetap memahami dan menerima segala kekurangan yg dimiliki seseorang apa adanya, berusaha untuk tahan godaan ketika ada yg 'lebih baik' menghampiri. Karena aku pikir, kamu itu lbh terbaik dari yang lebih baik. Dan itu hanya demi kamu.

Mungkin benar ada kalanya orang lain itu merasa bosan dan jenuh. Yang aku benci adalag kenapa aku tidak pernah merasakan hal itu seutuhnya. Kenapa selalu orang lain yg bisa berlaku seperti itu sama aku.

Dan kali ini, disaat kejujuran dipertanyakan.. Disaat kejujuran dihalalkan demi sebuah alasan yg menurut sebelah pihak itu 'baik'.. Disaat kejujuran mungkin lambat laun akan kehilangan artinya sendiri.

Disaat kepercayaan diragukan.. Disaat kepercayaan mulai luntur.. Disaat kepercayaan mungkin akan hilang pada akhirnya.

Aku belajar untuk mengubah cara berpikir aku, mengubah gaya berkomunikasi aku, mengubah agar lebih bisa sangat jujur, terbuka dan apa adanya sama kamu. Tapi lagi dan lagi, mungkin kamu belum tau apa artinya 2 HAL diatas, kejujuran dan kepercayaan.

Aku meragu. What am I supposed to do, God? Should I leave it then  move on or should I just accept this just the way it is?

I know You have created something wonderful and Amazing for me behind these unacceptable matters, God. I believe that You will always be here with me no matter how smooth or hard of time I've been through. If he is the only best for me, please make it easier to through it all the matters. But if he isnt the good one for me, please send the better one soon. Remove all the good feeling inside of me and please help me moving on. I just dont want to waste my time for something useless. *sigh

Thanks God.

NO ONE BUT YOURSELF

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one  can cheat you out of ultimate success but yourself.
No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to.
No one can change you but yourself.
No one can truly respect you but yourself
Never trust anyone but yourself.
No one can really heal you but yourself.
You can live without love, but surely, you cannot live without your own life.
No one can bring peace but youself.
No one can give you better advice but yourself.
No one can fix your hurt that caused by someone but yourself.
No one can be great, or good, or happy except through the inward efforts of themselves.
Change for no one but yourself.
There is no authority but yourself.
There is no one can make you rich but yourself.
You cannot depend on anyone but yourself.
No one can enlarge you but yourself.
No one can keep you down but yourself.
No one can save you but yourself.
No one like you in this world but only yourself, and so forth.

Masih banyak lagi quotes yang menjelaskan secara singkat tentang garis besar judul diatas.

Postingan kali ini gue dedikasikan untuk : 

SAYA SENDIRI, untuk kalian yang sedang sedang sedih dan  kecewa tentang hidup; kalian yang ingin menjadi seperti orang lain, kalian yang merasa sangat banyak kelemahan, kalian yang merasa hidup kalian kurang beruntung daripada orang lain, kalian yang merasa terbuang, kalian yang merasa tertinggal di belakang, kalian yang merasa terlupakan, kalian yang merasa dirugikan oleh ulah orang lain, kalian yang sangat sabar dan sangat kuat untuk tidak menyakiti orang lain tetapi memilih untuk menyakiti diri sendiri, Dan untuk kalian yang memilih apapun atas diri kalian sendiri.

MERENUNGLAH DAN RENUNGKANLAH INI.

Gue banyak belajar dari masalah-masalah lalu yang gue ngerasa bikin gue kecewa sama hidup gue, sama orang terdekat, orang lain disekeliling gue, bahkan sama Tuhan.

Pada dasarnya  setiap orang emang pengen segala yang terjadi di hidupnya berjalan dengan sempurna, tapi kalian tau kan kalo kata sempurna itu ‘sedikit’ gamang. NOBODY IS PERFECT. Everyone knows that idiom and the greatest meaning behind those words. Kita baik, belum tentu juga orang baik sama kita. Iya, kadang apa yang kita dapat emang bukan yang kita mau. Apa yang kita mau, belum tentu juga orang lain mau ngelakuin hal yang kita mau itu.

Menghitung tentang segala kebaikan yang telah diperbuat, sedih atau kecewa karena orang lain mengenyampingkan kita atau udah bikin kita sakit, kadang mereka pun ga sadar kalo udah nyakitin orang lho! Sama halnya juga sama kita. Kita juga pasti gitu, kita pernah nyakitin org lain tanpa sadar. Sama kaya gue, gue juga sering ngeluh ini itu, kenapa dia ga mau ngebantuin gue, kenapa dia ga mau berkorban buat gue, kenapa orang pas lagi susah ga ada yang mau perhatiin gue dan cuma pas senengnya doing yang mereka mau.
I have said this many times, to my friends, to everyone even to myself; NOBODY REJECTS SUCH HAPPINESS AND TO BE ON TOP, BUT NOBODY ACCEPTS OR WANTS SUCH SADNESS, FAILURE, TO BE ON DOWN ALSO.


Sakit ya? Sedih? Kecewa? Marah?  IYA EMANG.
Tapi ya mau gimana lagi wong udah kejadian. Kalian juga ga punya hak buat men-judge kalo mereka salah, mereka punya hak kok buat nolak, mereka punya pilihan buat nerima atau tidak. Sama halnya kaya kalian yang punya pilihan untuk nunjuk mereka sebelum kalian ngerasain kesakitan kalian itu.

SALING TOLONG MENOLONGLAH KALIAN DALAM KEBAIKAN SESAMA INSAN DI BUMI INI, MAKA KALIAN AKAN MENDAPATKAN PAHALA. 

Rada ga setuju ya sama kata-kata itu pas gue bilang kalo mereka punya hak buat nolak kalian? HAHA. Lagi-lagi, kita ga bisa memutuskan kalo dia berdosa, itu urusan ALLAH SWT diatas sana, yang Maha Tahu Segalanya. 

Kadang mungkin ini pernah kepikiran kali ya di kepala kalian, sebelum kita ngelabelin orang sebagai "the best people on earth" nya kita, kita harus bener-bener tau seberapa sayang dia sama kita. Jadi, sayangnya kita ke dia gak sia-sia. Jadi, kesempatan kita untuk dikhianati gak akan pernah ada, then that question leads you to the question, "Are OUR best people on earth really doing, which is so far we have been expecting they do, such a best thing as the best people should do in our life?"

Gue juga pernah berpikir gitu.

But then I sat back and thought deep just to figure out apa orang yang selama ini bareng-bareng gue adalah orang yang bener-bener bisa terima gue luar dan dalem. Yang kalo gue ngelakuin kesalahan sebesar apapun, mereka akan tetep sama-sama gue.

Dan kalo ga kejadian, mungkin gue juga ga akan pernah belajar.

Buat ngecek realita apakah the ones that I choose to spend most of my time with, the ones I put so much love into, the ones that I will always be there for, are willing to do the same for me.

Apa tolak ukur yang ngejadiin seorang temen bener-bener temen?

Ya yang keliatan jelas adalah dia pasti bawa pengaruh positif dalam hidup kalian. Main-main, jalan, haha-hihi bareng ga akan buat kalian bertumbuh. Yang ada kalian malah nyesek waktu nemuin mereka ga ada pas kalian lagi jatuh-jatuhnya.

Temen sejati tidak hanya berbagi kebahagiaan, mereka berbagi kebahagiaan yang sejati, dimana mereka membantu kalian untuk tetep menemukan kebahagiaan pada saat keadaan hidup tidak memungkinkan. Temen sejati akan tetep ngelurusin kalian, ga peduli sebrapa sakit rasanya. Karena mereka tau, akan lebih sakit nanti ngeliat hidup kalian udah belok-belok.

Berapa lamanya kalian temenan sama dia ga jadi jaminan kalo dia setia sama kalian.

Setia dalam artian bahwa apapun yang kalian lakukan, apapun yang terjadi dalam hidup kalian, regardless of what obstacles you might face and whatever life might bring you, mereka akan terima kalian apa adanya.
Dan baru hari-hari inilah gue menyadari the rarity of that kind of relationships.

BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE,
Just be grateful to all people who told you NO. It’s because of them that you managed to do it all by yourself. You trusted yourself that you could do that more than before,  you depended on your own self. YOU HAVE LEARNED HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF. 


Never regret everything that already happened, if it is good, it is wonderful and thank God then. If it is bad, it is experience, sincere then. Forgive the ones who hurt you, this is not easy I know that for sure,  but just so you know, forgiveness is not an emotion, but a choice. Your choice to press the button GIVE MORE AND EXPECT LESS instead of EXPECT MORE in your life. The strongest person in the world is he who stands alone. Show them that you can do it all by yourself, they can do nothing to change your life without your permission. Show them the real you, NOT the fake you. Stop trying to impress people by being someone you are not, because in the end, you’ll lose yourself. TRUST YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOUR GOD.


Dan buat yang Muslim, mari belajar menelaah .Padahal Allah swt. telah berfirman:

“Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) tentang Aku, maka (jawablah) bahwasanya Aku adalah dekat. Aku mengabulkan permohonan orang yang berdo’a apabila ia memohon kepada-Ku.” (QS. Al-Baqoroh:186)
 “Berdo’alah kepadaKu niscaya Aku kabulkan untuk-mu”. (QS.Al Mukmin 60).
Rasulullah S.A.W pun bersabda: “Tidak ada seorang muslim pun yang berdoa dengan suatu doa yang tidak mengandung dosa dan pemutusan silaturrahim melainkan Allah akan memberinya satu diantara tiga hal berikut : mengabulkan doanya di dunia ini mengabulkannya di akhirat nanti atau memalingkannya dari satu keburukan yang sebanding dengan doanya” (HR. Ahmad, Hakim, Baihaqi, Ibn Abi Syaibah dan Abu Ya’la).

Percaya ya, KALIAN ENGGA BENER-BENER SENDIRIAN KOK! Masih ada ALLAH yang nemenin kalian, yang ga bosen-bosen ngedengerin permintaan pertolongan kalian. ALLAH akan memberikan yang terbaik buat kalian nantinya, pasti ada aja jalannya.

Dan akhirnya, summing it all up, gue tau bahwa satu-satunya temen diatas segala temen, yang jadi temen gue dalam segala keadaan, yang masih bersedia jadi temen gue setelah apa aja yang gue lakuin, dan yang bakal selama-lamanya nemenin gue adalah yang berani ngorbanin
segalanya buat gue. That's the definition of a true friend. 

Life is tough, right? Yes, but that’s what life is all about, guys! God has purpose for making you feel that way.

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP! Be faithful, be sincere, be strong, be tough, be patient, be positive, be yourself and trust no one but yourself. Keep in mind that Allah never sleeps. :)

(smile)

NOTE TO MYSELF

Dear God...



I have to realize, learn, and fathom of that quote seriously. I'm getting unstable to control my emotion and sensivity lately. I made it soo personal, then whimpered and asked over and over again WHY THE F ALL THESE SHITS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE? ALWAYS WHY, WHY, WHY AND WHY! I didn't realize that God was giving me such a poke when I overwhelmed for being happy in my life, and sometimes I forgot about Him.. He might be feel the way I feel right now at that time. And again.. I just realized. And I'm sorry for fusillading You with loads of my WHYs.

Let that be a lesson for me, God. And thank you because You are still care of me. And still giving me a chance to realize and learn from it. Learn about sincerity and patience. Those two are not easy, though. But I will try my best. :)

The Surface

Sadly to admit this truth; When you are happy, you will only remember the happy times in your life. When you are sad, you will only remember the sad times. There are two sides to everything. And life is never one colour.

Remember this.

HARI INI

I have learned something meaningful today.

'JANGAN PERNAH MELAKUKAN SESUATU KE ORANG LAIN YANG PADA DASARNYA PUN KAMU TAU KALAU KAMU PADA POSISI MEREKA PUN, PASTI AKAN MERASA SEDIH KECEWA DAN MUNGKIN SAJA BISA LEBIH TERPURUK DARI ITU.'

Semua itu adalah tentang rasa tanggung jawab, kesabaran, kepengertian, berjiwa besar dan jg berlapang dada.. Smg akan bisa lebih paham lagi nantinya. Amin *longsigh

Posted via Blogaway

"We have to be fearless. We have to take chances.

We can't live life just being afraid of what comes next.

That's not what living is about."

You Again!

Well, the only thing we always miss when we have already been in a long relationship is all the thing that our lovers used to do in the very first they fell in with us. They did everything every girl wants. They treated their girls nicely like they didn't want to be far away with her though it was only a sec!  When the girl was mad at him, he always tried to find a way to get her attention and her smile again. Doing such a stupid thing isn't all that bad if he can make his girl not mad at him anymore. Sorry seemed the easy thing to say, because he didn't want to be in that scary condition with his girl. He just didn't want his girl feeling unhappy. He felt so damn insecure if there was only a little communication between them. He just afraid of loosing his girl..


1 year passed by

The boy still loved his girl. But his attention was less than the previous. He thought that 'yeaah, she is my girl right now. And I know she will never leave me because she loves me so much.' ofcourse what he thought is right. The girl is still glued by him. The bad part is when she mad, the boy reaction was mad back to her. A war happened. Unhealthy relationship began. The girl decided to break up with him. Realize that he had done wrong thing, he said sorry and promised that he wouldn't do that anymore. He acted nice, gave her more attention again and the girl melted.


2 years passed by

Many temptation come from any sides to this couple. The girl attracted to another boy who was nicer than her boyfriend. But he always think that was a bad idea,  she realized that was not fair for the boy,  it would hurt the boy's heart later on. The girl left the adorable boy for the sake of her.boyfriend. That was not easy movement to let someone better went away.

In this hectic level, the boy might not know about what's already happened with the girl. The boy acted more selfish. When the girl mad, the boy did nothing anymore and just waited for the girl to be back again normally as usual. The boy did something wrong with the girl, he had hurt her, he was calm doing nothing no more sorry came out from his mouth then saying nothing but acted like there was nothing happened between them previously. Broken promises often happen in their relationship.

Feeling unwell with her relationship, the girl thinks back whether she wants to continue her broken relationship or not. But she always thinks one level ahead that the boy. If there were so many negative changing in her only boy and he never wanted to fix all the things up. His words were nonsense! The only boy she loves has changed.. Then what would happen in the future??!

She is thinking again.. And then she is finding herself with an idea, "how if this time I really am gonna  leave him behind then searching someone new? Someone better for my better life ahead?"

She has made up her mind, she chose to leave him behind. And then what happened with the boy? When she said that she wanted to go away from his life, he just realized that he loves her very much and he has done many stupid things so far. He regreted all the things that happened. He said sorry million times but now that was too late, the girl has gotten her own way..


Yes, kita ga bakal ngerasa sesuatu itu sangat berharga sampai kita benar2  kehilangannya.

And for you, it probably will also exist in us. I just feel so damn stupid to keep you all this time. The longer we are together, the more unsatisfication things we found all the way. And it often makes us sick of our relationship.

I feel so dumb moron for thinking about you all the time when I know that you're not thinking about me at all. You do nothing for us. NOTHING!! you have changed.

Posted via Blogaway

Holiday with Typhus

Yes. I've been sick for 4 days. Yesterday I had already checked my blood in a hospital laboratory and the result is I AM POSITIVE got typhus. It sucks I know becos it's been a loooong time I never got this kinda disease anymore. Maybe Im too tired because of my daily routine lately,you know.. Many assignments. Then maybe my diet also becomes one of the reasons. -____-

Despite all of that, the main thing is, I have a great family whom I really count on them no matter what time I need them, my good boyfriend who cares about me so much, and my best friends who cheers me up through some texts, so I dont really feel so alone and bored.

Thank God for these. I love you all.. :)

Posted via Blogaway

Phisically not good enough

I have never blamed anyone for this, God either. But sometimes, when I flashback to some parts of moments in my life, I realized that maybe it is the one of the matters that causes me always underestimated by most of people. I DO NOT want this just so you know! No one wants this. But how if it is definitely my fate?!! And seems like there is no one to blame for it!

I cant even deny that sometimes I feel envy of someone who always get everything she wants, the one who phisically almost perfect!  the one who's always been adored by everybody, loved by everybody... Yeah, maybe that kinda life only exists on my dreams. In fact is, I have never got anything superb until now, sometimes I got the thing that I never wanted it to be, always got a lot of comments and criticism because of my physical appearance. although actually, I've tried my best to please them or even make them happy. In fact,  those were rarely successful. Most of them failed. It hurts me so bad for sure but I am very grateful to you God..

But you know.. I have never been this sad before.. :")

Posted via Blogaway

It is just sad .

when you really need a help of someone, but that one seems ignore you. and prefer to choose another rather than you. he doesn't give his attention any longer. when you asked him to go, then he didn't do anything except comply to just let you go, no more prevention nor sacriface for asking you to still stay. 

And then..

the other person came and willing to help you with pleasure. willing to accompany you though he was in a busy situation. the one who make you laugh and happy. the one who make you feel comfort. the one who make you feel that you can count on him whenever you want him to be. the one who makes you his priority and not his options.

And it definitely makes you sad..

when you realize that the other one who nice is a nobody of you, and the one who ignore you is your very-closed-person.

And it still sad..

when something suddenly knocked your mind to leave him with no forgiveness anymore and just let him find someone new out there. because you just find someone better than him.

And it hurts..

when you just realized that you are not as important as you used to be for the one who ignore you.. the one who when you feel like wanna kill him, then suddenly he becomes nice, makes you feel like you are refall in love again and it makes you melted. and when you are nice, he likes wanna kill you over and over again... the one who always says sorry of hundred million times then do it his mistake again and again, and comes to you again without any guilty. or sometimes he seems like didnt do anything that have already broken you heart. the one who never respects you as his girlfriend..

I LOVE THEM BOTH!

Above is my Mom and Dad's picture. And I just found this photo in my daddy's handphone gallery. Then suddenly made me laugh out loud! HAHAHA wtf they were doing to take this kinda expression! Their face look incredibly weird but funny! Hahah

Happiness.. Yes, the happiness atmosphere I felt when I was seeing this photo. This photo taken in Bengkulu City, at Pantai Panjang Beach. But I dont know when exactly this photo was taken. I miss that beach so freakin much loorrrhh.. Wish that someday I could visit that city again yaa.. Aamiin

Btw, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012, readers! I have no new year's resolution though. Just go with the flow then just make new day's resolution in my everyday life. Why I think that way?

Because I only believe in "new day's resolutions". I think everyday is a new day and a new opportunity to change. I don't believe in "new year's resolutions". Because I think people make it just because new year comes around, and trust me nobody keeps them! ;)

Bestest luck for all of us!






Much love,


Aya



Posted via Blogaway